There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
