I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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