Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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