Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
