I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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