Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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