u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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