would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
