I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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