"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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