What a fucking waste of an outfit
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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