GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
