thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
