We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
