Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
