whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
my liver is dry heaving
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
