fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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