took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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