well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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