I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
