I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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