Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
