so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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