hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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