it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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