One girl and one boy is just not enough.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I puked a lego.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
