Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
