I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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