I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
My nipple is on Facebook.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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