After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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