How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
