I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
