shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
