Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
