Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
