Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
