Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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