# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
where are you?
Hypothermia
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
