ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
