Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
