If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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