If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
