i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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