i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
