I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
