if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
