is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
