I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I can't put those talents on a resume
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
