dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Enjoy the penises
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
