On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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